4 Ways to Develop Assertiveness Skills and Why You Need Them

Some people are assertive by nature. When they speak, you can't help but take note. Such individuals are not afraid to express their opinions or feelings. They carry a level of confidence and self-assurance that few people have.

It would be easy to think that assertive people are aggressive and poor listeners. True, they have strong opinions and are not afraid to share them. But they also have a remarkable ability to take in feedback with the same self-assurance they express theirs.

Assertiveness is also a critical strength in some job positions. Can you imagine a line manager who seems unsure of everything they say? What about that supervisor who cannot communicate expectations or even make decisions? How likely is it that the team members will respect them? Or, even take what they say seriously?

By communicating in an assertive manner – with respect for yourself and others – you can get your needs met, manage stress, and form healthy relationships. 

Assertive individuals are self-confident and stand up for themselves while still considering the rights and viewpoints of others. They respect the opinion of their peers and use logical arguments to defend their position. 

Being assertive will help you to interact with others in a more honest, authentic way and to advocate for yourself in a variety of situations.
 

It’s a skill you can learn and practice, so you can model assertiveness for others and for future generations.

1. Enroll For Assertiveness Training Programs

Enroll in assertiveness training programs if you struggle with confidence and expressing yourself.

So, what is assertiveness training? A simple definition is it is a type of coaching that helps in developing your assertiveness skills. At the end of the training, you should communicate better.

Beyond that is establishing boundaries while maintaining the utmost respect for other people.

With assertiveness training, you learn how to increase your confidence in different scenarios. These include:-

•  Getting a rein on your feelings so that they do not impact outcomes
•  Learning to say no to requests with confidence and clarity
• Developing a voice so that other people hear you
•  Learning how to ask for help
•  Differentiating between aggression and assertiveness
• Active listening and communication skills and more.

Assertiveness training exercises often incorporate simulations of real-life scenarios. The trainers use role play and other exercises that reinforce your confidence. For example, practice using “I” statements instead of “you” statements to make your feelings clear without blaming or judgment. 

Additionally, practicing dialogues with a partner in which one person takes the role of a difficult person while the other practices making requests and setting boundaries is a great way to deal with challenging situations.

Other great exercises can include relaxation techniques such as meditation and deep breathing, and learning how to recognize passive and aggressive behaviors. 

The trainers may, for instance, set up a scenario where you have to face an aggressive employee. They will then see how you handle the situation. From this, they can give helpful feedback where necessary.

With these exercises, you can learn to be more assertive and express yourself in a respectful and appropriate way.

The coping tools you learn in assertiveness training will help in actual situations, whether at work or in social settings.

Why You Need Assertiveness Skills Training?

The benefits of assertiveness skills training are numerous, including:-

• Better communication because you can express your needs, wants, and opinions
• Higher self-esteem due to the self-confidence boost
•  Less stress because you can communicate and have more control over interactions
•  Increased respect for yourself and others
•  Better relationships come from honest and open communication.
  
  

2. Discover How To Use The Two-Letter Word, NO!

NO only comprises two letters. Yet no is one of the most difficult words for many people. Literally, it is not just a word, but a sentence that packs a punch with its completeness of meaning. There is always the fear that others will resent or disapprove of you.

The same applies to thoughts of rejection and guilt that accompany the word. For some people, it is a sense of obligation to keep saying yes, even to their detriment.

Yet what is interesting is that people so eager to please, rarely get the respect they deserve. Indeed you become more of a doormat that anyone can walk over. If you are a manager, don't be surprised if the staff members stop listening to you.

So one of the main things you learn in assertiveness training programs is to say NO. The benefits are numerous, including clear communication of your needs. The word no is also a powerful way to set boundaries. It communicates to others that you are not afraid to turn down requests. That will make them think more before they ask you for anything.

But what you will also learn in your assertiveness training program is to say no in the right way. Take time to carefully listen to what the other party has to say. Mull over the information to see whether there is any merit worth saying yes to. If not, give a little explanation as to why you are turning down the request.

3. Learn the Power of Body Language

Do you know that nonverbal cues are just as powerful as words? Developing your assertiveness skills means learning and perfecting the power of body language.

Let's say a junior staff member comes to you with an unreasonable request. And since the online assertiveness training taught you how to say no, you decide to implement it.

But you say no while looking down, fidgeting, and whispering the answer. How seriously do you think the staff member will take you?

To be assertive, accompany your words with the correct body language. Indeed, please take a look at how confident people carry themselves. They command attention, immediately after they enter a room, even without speaking a word.

Some key body language elements you can practice include maintaining good posture, making eye contact, keeping your arms open, and maintaining a relaxed, but purposeful stance. 

Additionally, staying aware of your facial expressions and avoiding too much hand movement can help create a positive conversational atmosphere. Ultimately, using body language strategically can help you make the most of difficult conversations and express yourself clearly.

So, improve your assertiveness by;

• Sitting or standing up straight, shoulder back, spine erect.
•  Maintaining eye contact with whoever you are talking to
•  Speaking with a clear, even tone at all times
•  Respecting personal distance while holding your own
•  Having the right facial expressions to emphasize what you are saying. If you are discussing a serious topic, you can't have a goofy or silly expression on your face. It will take away the impact of whatever you are trying to communicate.
  
  

4. Don't Confuse Assertiveness with Bossiness

The assertiveness training program is going on well. You are now starting to speak up and express yourself with more confidence. But, you must be careful not to cross the line to bossiness.

It is important to understand the distinction between assertiveness and bossiness. Assertiveness is about being self-confident and expressing your thoughts and needs in an open, honest, and direct way. It is about understanding yourself, and your limits, and respecting those of others. 

Bossiness, however, involves taking control over situations and people, often by disregarding their needs or opinions and becoming domineering. 

Remember, assertive people, get respect from others because they give it in return. Even in expressing contrary opinions, they consider the feelings of others.

Bossy people, on the other hand, tend to receive a lot of pushback. They tend to demand, command, manipulate, and control. They stick to the mantra' my way or the highway. Being assertive will help you build trust-based relationships while being bossy can be a surefire way to create animosity with your peers.

That is why assertiveness training emphasizes critical skills like good communication and active listening.

Final Thoughts

You could be standing in the way of your success because you lack assertiveness. Your inability to communicate or express yourself will impact your social well-being. Indeed you will find it very difficult to survive even in the workplace.

Further, you will suffer from low self-esteem, anxiety, and stress. All this will contribute to poor relationships with colleagues, family members, and friends.

We have shared some ways you can develop assertiveness skills. The best recommendation is to enroll in online assertiveness training programs. Also, simple exercises like learning to say no and working on your body language can start you off on the right path.

Learning to develop assertiveness skills can make a huge difference in your life--from gaining confidence when making decisions and voicing concerns to standing up for your boundaries. 

These 4 practices for developing these important skills will arm you with the knowledge, creativity, and strength you need to create meaningful boundaries, get heard, and handle conflict situations with grace. 

So don't be afraid! Use these tools to become more confident, empowered, and successful.